holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
