What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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