better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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