glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
