the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
