If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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