I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
only you would photoshop your dick
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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