I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
