Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize