Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
