We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
