I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
