just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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