they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
