So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Can you bring me the toilet please
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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