Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
