R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
