He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize