He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
