if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize