They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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