Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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