if you like me you must not know who I am
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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