It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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