Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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