all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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