is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
