Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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