I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
