You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
