She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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