Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Found the puke drawer
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
