South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
