If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Randomize
