It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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