That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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