why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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