There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
