Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
