i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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