I bet he comes in French.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
