What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
