the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize