Fine. I'll sleep in my office
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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