Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
