Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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