wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
