You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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