i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
