Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
