My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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