I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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