Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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