This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
