Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
