I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
