she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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