Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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