yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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