I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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