all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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